Birthing Buff Pillows

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

A midwife holding a baby

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Men explained.

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

'They met in a revolving door and started going around together.'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

Editor. Short. Sweet.

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

"Any chance you could come back in ten months?"

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

'What sort of silly planning is this?...I've got fingernails but no teeth to chew them with.'

Maternity Ward 'Push, Push, Push' and the Sperm Bank Door 'Pull, Pull, Pull'.

"Ralph has his own little microbrewery."

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Get out of me!'

'Bad news, Billy Bob! The tests show that your phantom is a contagious equine meteitis carrier.'

"Let me get this straight. For your last wish you want all your friends to share their streaming services passwords with you?"

Santa's chimney climbing is a fixation with mothers womb

Trains. Tracks 7-20. You got a job cooking Chinese food in the diner car? Yep -- I've been woking on the railroad!

Warehousing, St Catherine's Docks

'All I talk about is beer and brewing? That's not trub. In fact, it's the wort thing you've ever said to me.'

Up the duff!

'Excuse me Madam!!'

Hey guys come see, Trevors found a way to trainspot on the internet.