Birthing Buffs Pillows

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

A midwife holding a baby

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

Womb for Kids

"Any chance you could come back in ten months?"

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

'What sort of silly planning is this?...I've got fingernails but no teeth to chew them with.'

"I hope you don't mind me asking, Mrs. Gonzales...but how does the baby get out of there?"

Maternity Ward 'Push, Push, Push' and the Sperm Bank Door 'Pull, Pull, Pull'.

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

The Impractical Guide to Babies: 'Get out of me!'

Santa's chimney climbing is a fixation with mothers womb

Up the duff!

Warehousing, St Catherine's Docks

'Excuse me Madam!!'

"Vous avez pris rendez-vous?"

"I'm your midwife... the others are just some people I've sold tickets to."

'I'm sure it's a boy. Because every time I touch the TV remote, he kicks me.'

"Tickets to the birth of my son or daughter? I got 'em who needs 'em?"