Birthing Experience Fan Pillows

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

In the club.

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Baby in Trunk.

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

'Congratulations! It's one of the beautiful people!'

'Just Remember, Darling, you're eating for 60 now.'

A Star is Born.

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

'And remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

Womb for Kids

"Early Father's Day Gift!"

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

BABY (arrow pointing to belly) BEER (arrow pointing to belly).

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

"Yeah, those first few minutes...nothing but a lot of slap and tickle!"

Ingredients: me

Baby Mums.

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

"Of course what else would it be?"

"Looks like it's someone's birthday...!"

"Tell me again, how when I was born, how you passed out and the doctors left Mommy alone to revive you."

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'