Maternity Moments Fan Pillows

'And remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Maternity Ward

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

The discovery of gravity is put on hold after a chance encounter by William Tell and Isaac Newton.

Baby on Board

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

"Well at least now I ca almost imagine the level of pain my husband goes through when he's got a cold."

Letting Go

"Haven't been there, haven't done that."

An expecting Fly wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying MAGGOT.

'I must be growing up...I took a bath without being told to!'

Please take a number...

Normal pregnancies, premature pregnancies, born again Christians.

"Remember when I was a little kid and cried when I had to go to the dentist?"

"I should have started this three months ago....contractions play havoc with jigsaw puzzles!!"

"Another milestone: the first step, first word, first excuse..."

'Now this time remember - we refer to the babies as 'quadruplets,' not 'the litter!''

Best used before 40 years.

'Are we nearly ready for a family argument yet, dad?'

Smart Suburban Maternity Hospital - "My Evian waters have broken."

"Nothing much. Just going to get rid of some belly fat."

'Don't bite!'

'Please get back to bed, Mrs. Barnstone!'

"Oh, look, they're having a fight!"