Maternity Moments Fan Gifts

'And remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Maternity Ward

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

'Your mother makes a wonderful spoiler.'

The discovery of gravity is put on hold after a chance encounter by William Tell and Isaac Newton.

Baby on Board

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."

'Which one is yours?'

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

"Well at least now I ca almost imagine the level of pain my husband goes through when he's got a cold."

Letting Go

An expecting Fly wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying MAGGOT.

'I must be growing up...I took a bath without being told to!'

The baby's really been moving round today.

"Haven't been there, haven't done that."

Please take a number...

Normal pregnancies, premature pregnancies, born again Christians.

"Remember when I was a little kid and cried when I had to go to the dentist?"

Everything looks so good

"Another milestone: the first step, first word, first excuse..."

"I should have started this three months ago....contractions play havoc with jigsaw puzzles!!"

'Now this time remember - we refer to the babies as 'quadruplets,' not 'the litter!''

"Nothing much. Just going to get rid of some belly fat."

Smart Suburban Maternity Hospital - "My Evian waters have broken."

'Are we nearly ready for a family argument yet, dad?'

Best used before 40 years.

'Please get back to bed, Mrs. Barnstone!'

'Don't bite!'