Birthing Experience Fan T-Shirts

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

In the club.

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Baby in Trunk.

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

'Congratulations! It's one of the beautiful people!'

'Just Remember, Darling, you're eating for 60 now.'

A Star is Born.

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

'And remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

Womb for Kids

"Early Father's Day Gift!"

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

BABY (arrow pointing to belly) BEER (arrow pointing to belly).

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

"Yeah, those first few minutes...nothing but a lot of slap and tickle!"

Ingredients: me

Baby Mums.

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

"Of course what else would it be?"

"Looks like it's someone's birthday...!"

"Tell me again, how when I was born, how you passed out and the doctors left Mommy alone to revive you."

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'