Birth Story Buffs T-Shirts

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

She never said "Da-da." She went right to "data."

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

" ... and then the ugly duckling grew up to be an even uglier duck."

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

"Damn, I forgot to create the 'control-Z' command."

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

“It's a healthy baby boy. And, wow, the mouth on your wife …”

'What? Didn't your parents ever tell you who delivers babies???'

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

'Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...'

Ingredients: me

'Sign here.'

'My labor with Jenna was a snap...'

"Tell me again, how when I was born, how you passed out and the doctors left Mommy alone to revive you."

Jesus 'raising' chickens as a kid

"Well, yes. Diaries are often published. But they're usually written by interesting people."

Holy Coke

Maternity Ward Door Sign - 'Push, push, push'

Library. Frank I need to locate some biographies. Do you know where there are? This King Tut book is stored in a box down in the basement. The Napoleon biography is with the short stories, and the Henry Ford book is in the autobiography section. Unfortunately, this Amelia Earhart profile is missing - it mysteriously disappeared years ago. And what about the Albert Einstein bio? It's right up there on the top shelf. The book about Einstein and his theories is way over your head, Ernie!

"So much for online B'n'Bs, this guy's getting negative feedback."

"...And this is my birth partner."

'Push!..Push!..Push!..Push!'

"This must be my transition team."

And on the seventh day, God obsessed about what he did wrong on the first six days.

Books - "I hear her kids run riot in this one."