Birth Story Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"This must be my transition team."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Uterus: One size fits all.

Bouncing baby

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"

"So, what was the first word uttered?"

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

Womb for Kids

Baby restaurant

“It's a healthy baby boy. And, wow, the mouth on your wife …”

"They're expecting their first baby by surrogate mother!"

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

Pregnancy

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

"Don't forget...there are no guarantees, no returns, and no compensation!"

"Yeah, those first few minutes...nothing but a lot of slap and tickle!"

Ingredients: me

'My god, he's insane.'

'Sign here.'

Stork Swinging Baby.

Sign on the maternity ward door reads 'Push, push, push.'

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.