Birth Story Narrator T-Shirts

Maternity Ward Door Sign - 'Push, push, push'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

Zoom Christmas

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

'You'd better stop reading, Dad... you're making me sleepy.'

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

'Tell us about the time you met Charles Darwin, grandad.'

“It's a healthy baby boy. And, wow, the mouth on your wife …”

'Let's get a few things straight. No speed reading, no silly voices, no skipping pages...'

Do not open 'til Christmas...

"She's changed so much since the sonogram."

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

'Once upon a time there were three people...'

Rising oceans could prevent wind power being the main power source.

Ingredients: me

"Your ecosystem is pretty well shot, have you considered giving up humans?"

God's Kitchen

'Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...'

"She's had work."

'...when all at once I saw a bunch, a bunch of golden daffodils...no, it still doesn't sound right.'

"Tell me again, how when I was born, how you passed out and the doctors left Mommy alone to revive you."

'My labor with Jenna was a snap...'

The World of People

"Scientists say that this will be the most outrageous summer in 500 years..."

'No, Joseph didn't make the crib, it was a flat pack!'

'No kidding! I was in that David Attenborough documentary too...'

'Snap that line!!...'

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'