Bird Watcher Jokes Gifts

Pecking order - pecking out of order.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'You are pigeon toed.'

A couple of birds out on the town.

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"He's a bird-dog."

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

Artist Hazards

"So you hired them to do the tidying up?"

'Why can't I ever lead?'

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

'Dude, I think you should cut back on the Gummi worms.'

CEO and COO.

"It's a thongbird."

'Hey guys, wouldn't it be alot easier if we just wore layers?'

Frank & Ernest's Animals You Seldom See the "Vowl". Aeioooou.

"We'll have three deluxe wormburgers and a big bucket of regurgi-taters."