Bird Watcher Jokes Pillows

Pecking order - pecking out of order.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

New York Scatological Society

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'You are pigeon toed.'

A couple of birds out on the town.

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"He's a bird-dog."

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

'Dude, I think you should cut back on the Gummi worms.'

Artist Hazards

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

'Why can't I ever lead?'

"So you hired them to do the tidying up?"

CEO and COO.

"It's a thongbird."

'Hey guys, wouldn't it be alot easier if we just wore layers?'

"The problem with being a roadrunner is coping with the darn potholes! I've twisted my ankle again..."

Cat Tries to Catch a Bird.