Birdwatching Jokester Gifts

"He's a bird-dog."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

'Okay, whose clever idea was it to fly over the paintballing centre?'

'If you want to lose weight, fly with your mouth shut.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'You are pigeon toed.'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

A couple of birds out on the town.

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

'Why can't I ever lead?'

Artist Hazards

"Psst. . .he's not even looking up here....keep real still and he'll never notice us!"

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

'Dude, I think you should cut back on the Gummi worms.'

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'