Birdwatching Comedian Gifts

'You're just throwing it on the ground? -- It wouldn't kill you to bring along some paper plates.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

New York Scatological Society

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'You are pigeon toed.'

A couple of birds out on the town.

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"He's a bird-dog."

'Dude, I think you should cut back on the Gummi worms.'

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

Artist Hazards

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

'Why can't I ever lead?'

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

CEO and COO.

Self examination.