Birdwatching Comedian T-Shirts

'You're just throwing it on the ground? -- It wouldn't kill you to bring along some paper plates.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'You are pigeon toed.'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

A couple of birds out on the town.

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"He's a bird-dog."

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

'Dude, I think you should cut back on the Gummi worms.'

'Why can't I ever lead?'

Artist Hazards

CEO and COO.

Self examination.

"It's a thongbird."