Birdwatching Humorists Gifts

Bird Table with a No Squirrels sign attached.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

''What's in the bag, lady?''

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

Cyclist Flamingoes

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'You are pigeon toed.'

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Well, that backfired."

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

A couple of birds out on the town.

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

"He's a bird-dog."

Closed for Summer.

Artist Hazards

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

'Why can't I ever lead?'

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