Birdwatcher Humorists Gifts

Frank & Ernest's Animals You Seldom See the "Vowl". Aeioooou.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

''What's in the bag, lady?''

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'You are pigeon toed.'

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

A couple of birds out on the town.

"Well, that backfired."

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"He's a bird-dog."

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

Artist Hazards

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

'Why can't I ever lead?'

CEO and COO.

Self examination.

"It's a thongbird."