Birdwatching Humor Gifts

A couple of birds out on the town.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'You are pigeon toed.'

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Well, that backfired."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"He's a bird-dog."

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

Closed for Summer.

'Why can't I ever lead?'

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

'Dude, I think you should cut back on the Gummi worms.'

Artist Hazards

CEO and COO.

Self examination.

"It's a thongbird."