Birdwatching Humor Gifts

A couple of birds out on the town.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

New York Scatological Society

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'You are pigeon toed.'

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"Well, that backfired."

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"He's a bird-dog."

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

Closed for Summer.

'Dude, I think you should cut back on the Gummi worms.'

Artist Hazards

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

'Why can't I ever lead?'

CEO and COO.

Self examination.