Bike Fixer Gifts

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

Drool Marks

You had me at vintage.

Waiting for Pants

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

Bicycle Pie Chart

Man-spreading, Dutch style.

"Wait! Do you think the quick release bolts are a good idea?"

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

Decals and stickers for your bike.

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

Deux Ex Mechanic

'My bike was making a strange noise, so I took it apart to fix it. I should've thought ahead, because I have no idea how to put it back together.'

'Maybe you could get dressed faster if you lost that speed bump around your waist.'

Wheelies Gang.

The Mechanic

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

"I've got a punture in the back wheel." "Just raise the saddle up."