Bike Repair Guru Gifts

Drool Marks

"Take me to your mechanic."

Touring Cyclist

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

You had me at vintage.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

Problem Solver Wanted

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

Bob's DIY Store

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

Bicycle Pie Chart

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

"So that's how you fixed things before there was Duct tape."

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

Man-spreading, Dutch style.

"Wait! Do you think the quick release bolts are a good idea?"

'No worries son, I'll manage with my saw until my hammer turns up.'

"Thanks for helping us put up the shelf, 'Utility Belt Man'."

Holes in pots, cigars and the road.

'Duct tape.'

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

"You have reached technical support...your call is important to us so please stay on the line..."

"You may have an MBA, but I can change a light bulb."

"I can't get the thingamabob to connect with the whatzadoodle. Who should I call?"

Wheelies Gang.