Bike Repair Guru Gifts

Cyclist looks bemused as his efforts to pump up a flat tyre inflates the the bike frame instead.

Drool Marks

Touring Cyclist

"Take me to your mechanic."

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

You had me at vintage.

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

Problem Solver Wanted

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

Bob's DIY Store

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

Bicycle Pie Chart

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

"So that's how you fixed things before there was Duct tape."

"Wait! Do you think the quick release bolts are a good idea?"

Man-spreading, Dutch style.

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

'No worries son, I'll manage with my saw until my hammer turns up.'

"Thanks for helping us put up the shelf, 'Utility Belt Man'."

'Duct tape.'

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

Holes in pots, cigars and the road.

"You have reached technical support...your call is important to us so please stay on the line..."

"I can't get the thingamabob to connect with the whatzadoodle. Who should I call?"

Wheelies Gang.

The problem with my disposal? It's garbage in, garbage out.