Big Reader Gifts

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Man struggling to read a large edition of a book

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

James Joyce.

'Bront?saurus.'

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

Mad Hatter's tea party.

Jane Austen

Giant to librarian: 'Excuse me, do you have a large print version?'

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

Book

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

'Books are okay, except they only get one channel.'

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

Books*. *Batteries not included.

Inbox and outbox for books

"The butler did it!"

Man reading in lamp

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

"I see travel and romance. You'll be going away soon. I see a tall, dark stranger with many tattoos."

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'She said to read between the lines to infer the answer, but it's hard to see in between them because they're so close together.'

Man reading a tablet in library.

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

'How 'bout finishing the story, mom. It's past dad's bedtime.'

Superhero Rescues Books.

"We no longer shelve gay fiction separately. It's been assimilated."

George Orwell.

"I don't know about you, but I couldn't wait to get back to our book club."

If you choose to read on a Kindle in the privacy of your own home, that's your business, but we're still calling the a X$%^ book club.