Big Car Chuckler Gifts

Stuck SUVs

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

World of Cow.

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

'Fancy a swift half?'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

"Sounds like a lot of 'EIEIO' to me!"

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'Power steering.'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

'Bless you!'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"I keep getting into a flap."

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

Is it true that all cats are free thinkers? Yeah, we can't stand dogma.

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

Woman Driving a Lemon.

'My car has been acting funny.'