Big Car Chuckler Gifts

Stuck SUVs

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

World of Cow.

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

'Fancy a swift half?'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'Power steering.'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"Sounds like a lot of 'EIEIO' to me!"

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'Bless you!'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"I keep getting into a flap."

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

Woman Driving a Lemon.

'My car has been acting funny.'

'Forget the golf. I just got a nibble!'