Commute Chuckler Gifts

'You look different somehow today - Did you incorporate yourself or something?'

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"Take me home now!"

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Trapeze artists commuting

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

'Now do you believe me about every other driver on the road.'

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

King Commute.

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

"It's amazing how well they adapt to an urban environment."

Communication on a bus

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."

"Me, it's not a shower I crave for after a hard day at work, it's a long, long, long bath..."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'Sorry Darling, I'll be late home: There's a strong head wind...'

"I keep getting into a flap."

Taxi Debates

"As usual, the Madison Avenue boat is late again."

"Why are these bloody trucks constantly stopping traffic???!"

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

'But every time I leave a five car space in front of me, six cars cut in.'

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

Metrognome

'Terrific!... You wait for a billion years, and they send three at the same time.'

Rush Hour In The Jungle.

"Hey, you wanna share a cab?"