Travel Chuckler Gifts

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

Carefree luggage.

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Can I have a look at the map?

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'We have a clerical special to St Croix amd St Thomas...'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

Holiday Luggage

'I think you'll find you can't tiptoe wearing clogs!'

Stonehenge Imitation

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

Traffic Sign

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'

Alfredo the knife thrower's first air trip.

"We are sorry for the delay in announcing the delay of flight 601"

"We find the defendants guilty on the charges of missed connections, separated seats, crying babies, bad weather, turbulence and running out of chicken."

"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."

At the airport.

Maps to the house arrests of the stars

"There's a gender neutral toilet under the bed."

"It's the police they say they would send someone round but they can't find our reservation..."

'You want to go somewhere really hot - that can be arranged.'