Travel Chuckler Pillows

Carefree luggage.

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Can I have a look at the map?

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'We have a clerical special to St Croix amd St Thomas...'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

Holiday Luggage

'I think you'll find you can't tiptoe wearing clogs!'

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

Stonehenge Imitation

Traffic Sign

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"We saw the Great Wall and lots of pagodas, and I have a transplanted stomach."

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

'You've been looking for that cuff-link, haven't you? Well...'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'

Alfredo the knife thrower's first air trip.

"It's the police they say they would send someone round but they can't find our reservation..."

"We are sorry for the delay in announcing the delay of flight 601"

Maps to the house arrests of the stars

"There's a gender neutral toilet under the bed."

At the airport.

'You want to go somewhere really hot - that can be arranged.'

"We find the defendants guilty on the charges of missed connections, separated seats, crying babies, bad weather, turbulence and running out of chicken."

"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."

'I hope i did leave the faucet running so the water will put out the fire from the stove I left on.'