Time Traveler Chuckler Gifts

"Your estimated wait time is 20 minutes...1 hour and 45 minutes in dog time."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"We're following Carrot Top."

The Missing Sock Returns

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Second hand furniture.

E=mc2.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Early model of baggage claim"

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Sundial Time

Time for vacation, time for work.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"I don't know who you are!"

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

The power of now

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'