Travel Tales Chuckler Gifts

'On second thoughts maybe we should just text your gran and auntie.'

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

"The kitchen sink. . . actually I DID pack it, it's the one over there on the left."

Tourist Attractions

Benefits of Living Abroad

'I can't talk... I'm in the quiet carriage.' - '3...2...1...' - 'What? I can't hear you... you're breaking up...' - 'Brace! Brace!' - 'I said 'I'm in the quiet carriage'!!!' - 'Irony crash.'

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

'It's new government policy - we have to include affordable edifices.'

'For the benefit of the passenger who joined the train at Watford Junction, this is the non-stop London to Birmingham High-Speed service.'

'I can't put my finger on it but George has been different every since came back from safari.'

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

Mrs. Gummidge casts a damp on our departure

"They were right. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

"Ed lives somewhere in the midwest and Jim settled out on the west coast, so I don't see them much anymore."

Commuting with Sardinetrack - 'Coo, don't they pack us in?'

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

ACE Airlines. Ask about our frequent flier bonus plan. I think it's nice of the airlines to give frequent fliers a free ticket to anywhere. They can go get their luggage.

No Trespassing!

"...we didn't lose your luggage, we forgot to load it."

'Tourists bring in money ... and sometimes... Hong Kong flu!"

"Your estimated wait time is 20 minutes...1 hour and 45 minutes in dog time."

'Pool closed 3pm to 6pm. That's when we wash our sheets.'

Portly man with hands full asked to jump onto the roof of the bus

"A strong team shares an interest in each others lives."

'It was BAD enough having to look at his holiday photos.'

Man lost looking at city map.

The tourist photo appreciation society.

"It's a mousehole, you said you didn't mind sharing."