Bicycle Repair Technician Gifts

"There's a slight crack in your frame, but it's hard to tell what caused it – stress, proximity to water, or a combination of both."

The Mechanic

Drool Marks

"Take me to your mechanic."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

You had me at vintage.

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

Organic Soldering.

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"Thanks to the Internet, I learned to ride a bike. Since I was bored, I also got my pilot's license."

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

Road Buddies

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

'Frankly the only Cheap way of getting rid of the knocking from the engine is to turn up the volume on the radio.'

CLEAR!

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

A self-filling prophecy.

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

'Have you tried turning it off and on again?'

'Never, Ever...plan to pay for just an oil change when you take your car to the shop.'

'I've been in this business a long time, and believe me that's not laughing.'

Bicycle Pie Chart

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

"Wait! Do you think the quick release bolts are a good idea?"

'So, hows the ullage?'

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

Man-spreading, Dutch style.