Biblical Story Fanatics Gifts

"My client wants half, plus another fifteen per cent to cover my fees."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

Sistine Selfie

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Three Wise Men Fancy Dress.

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

Joseph and his coat

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"...and Adam and Eve were naked, so they had to leave the garden."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

Forbidden Vegetable

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

'Bad news everyone! The Ark didn't turn out as I expected.'

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

The Exobus