Bible Story Fanatic Gifts

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Salome

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Little Known Moments In History

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Sistine Selfie

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Three Wise Men Fancy Dress.

So … how did you two meet?

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'