Bible Story Fanatic Pillows

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Salome

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Little Known Moments In History

Sistine Selfie

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

Regifts of the Magi

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

Three Wise Men Fancy Dress.

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY