Biblical References Fan Gifts

Child pointing at naked swimmer

All I'm sayin is let he who has not driven naked and stoned cast the first stone...

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Ghostwriting the Bible

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

Sistine Selfie

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"He changed water into wine!"

'Bad news everyone! The Ark didn't turn out as I expected.'

The Exobus

"The good news is everyone's on board. The bad news is the unicorns are gay."

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

"A 40 day cruise? Just the two of us without the kids? Oh, Harold, This'll be the best vacation ever! I hope it doesn't rain!"

"Eve just went nuclear and split an Adam!"

The parting of the pizza

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

'You pick the apple and I'll bake the pie.'