Biblical Parody Fan Gifts

The oft-forgotten Three Old Wines who didn't quite manage to follow the star.

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Ghostwriting the Bible

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

"He changed water into wine!"

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"The good news is everyone's on board. The bad news is the unicorns are gay."

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

The parting of the pizza

'You pick the apple and I'll bake the pie.'

'I said, 'Roses.' Stop and smell the Roses!'

"I bring you ten faith-based initiatives

'You went and ate in the apple orchard, didn't you?'

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

Noah's ark is a Hummer.

Panic Stations in Heaven's Bakery - 'He needs 5000 loaves of bread and he needs them NOW!'

Young Jesus learning to walk on water with waterwings around his ankles.

'Adam, are you sure this what He meant by 'being fruitful and multiplying'...?'

First Person