Biblical Parody Fan Gifts

The oft-forgotten Three Old Wines who didn't quite manage to follow the star.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Ghostwriting the Bible

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"He changed water into wine!"

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"The good news is everyone's on board. The bad news is the unicorns are gay."

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

The parting of the pizza

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

Moses after forty years in the desserts...

'You went and ate in the apple orchard, didn't you?'

'I said, 'Roses.' Stop and smell the Roses!'

"I bring you ten faith-based initiatives

'You pick the apple and I'll bake the pie.'

Noah's ark is a Hummer.

Ark/RKO

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

'Two pair ain't gonna cut it, Joseph. I've got three kings.'

Panic Stations in Heaven's Bakery - 'He needs 5000 loaves of bread and he needs them NOW!'

'Adam, are you sure this what He meant by 'being fruitful and multiplying'...?'

Young Jesus learning to walk on water with waterwings around his ankles.