Biblical Comedy Fan Gifts

'Adam, are you sure this what He meant by 'being fruitful and multiplying'...?'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Do you think that's wise?'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Ghostwriting the Bible

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Fishing with God

"OMG, LOL!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"Have your people call my people."

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'