Biblical Comedian Gifts

Moses parts the Red Sea.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Well, we needed the rain."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Fishing with God

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.