Biblical Comedy Fans Gifts

"One more round and then we should probably order."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Do you think that's wise?'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Fishing with God

"OMG, LOL!"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Have your people call my people."

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"