Biblical Parody Lover Gifts

Panic Stations in Heaven's Bakery - 'He needs 5000 loaves of bread and he needs them NOW!'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Fishing with God

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

E-Baying @ The Moon

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Little Red Riding Carpet

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

'Look, Bernie, all I'm saying is I think you're riding the new guy pretty hard.'

"Have your people call my people."

'Even More Disciples'