Religious Parody Lover Gifts

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"You call this a constitution?"

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

Dogma

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

Gates of heaven

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

A woman in prayer

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."