Religious Parody Fan Gifts

Monk batting with a crucifix

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"OMG, LOL!"

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Dogma

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Om and Ommer

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

Male On Sunday

Pope Kimba XXIII.

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"Holy moly!"

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Hallelujah!"

Moral Outrage.