Religion Parody Fan Gifts

"We just put in this bar last month."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"OMG, LOL!"

A surprise in heaven

Dogma

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

Male On Sunday

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

Pope Kimba XXIII.

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Hallelujah!"

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"Holy moly!"

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."