Religion Parody Fan Gifts

"We just put in this bar last month."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"OMG, LOL!"

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Dogma

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Om and Ommer

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

Pope Kimba XXIII.

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"Holy moly!"

Male On Sunday

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Hallelujah!"

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil