Biblical Satire Lovers Gifts

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

'Is it organic?'

"Then I told Jonah, I'm a big fish not a whale, get your story straight."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"OMG, LOL!"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Cheap Labour Countries.

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

Gates of heaven

'Verily, Noah, the flood I am about to unleash is retribution for Tory defections to UKIP!'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'All the tellers are nuns.'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

Holy Relics.

Self raising Lazarus.

About to take a triumphant departure from Ireland, Saint Patrick set his sights on world domination. That is, before his focus was diverted by a small harmless looking beverage.

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

"Bring me the head of John the Baptist. Just kidding. Get me the Paulson file."

The Do's and Don'ts of Sin.