Bible Fan Gifts

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Sistine Selfie

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

Three Wise Men Fancy Dress.

Joseph and his coat

Eden. Hi, I'm version 2.0.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"...and Adam and Eve were naked, so they had to leave the garden."

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors.

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

'Bad news everyone! The Ark didn't turn out as I expected.'

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

Sea Rescue - rescuing animals from the arc.

The Exobus

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

"Are we there yet?