Bible Fan T-Shirts

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

Sistine Selfie

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

Three Wise Men Fancy Dress.

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

Joseph and his coat

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"...and Adam and Eve were naked, so they had to leave the garden."

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'Bad news everyone! The Ark didn't turn out as I expected.'

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

The Exobus

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

'Damn, we forgot to cancel the book of the month!'

"Are we there yet?