Biblical Reference Lovers Gifts

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Fishing with God

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Ten Commandments

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Noah's ark, many lions

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Have your people call my people."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."

'I'm not complaining or anything, but these are going to be really hard on our self-esteem!'