Biblical Reference Lovers Pillows

Loans. Frankly, the fact that the meek with inherit the earth isn't really good collateral.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Fishing with God

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Ten Commandments

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Noah's ark, many lions

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Have your people call my people."

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."