Biblical Reference Fan Pillows

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Ghostwriting the Bible

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

Sistine Selfie

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Three Wise Men Fancy Dress.

Eden. Hi, I'm version 2.0.

Joseph and his coat

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"He changed water into wine!"

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

"...and Adam and Eve were naked, so they had to leave the garden."

Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors.

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

'Bad news everyone! The Ark didn't turn out as I expected.'

Sea Rescue - rescuing animals from the arc.