Biblical Reference Enthusiast Gifts

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Ten Commandments

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

The First Printed Bible

Noah's ark, many lions

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Have your people call my people."

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'