Bible Reinterpretation Fan Gifts

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Ghostwriting the Bible

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

Sistine Selfie

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

Eden. Hi, I'm version 2.0.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Three Wise Men Fancy Dress.

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors.

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"...and Adam and Eve were naked, so they had to leave the garden."

'Bad news everyone! The Ark didn't turn out as I expected.'

Sea Rescue - rescuing animals from the arc.

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

The Exobus

Self raising Lazarus.

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

"A 40 day cruise? Just the two of us without the kids? Oh, Harold, This'll be the best vacation ever! I hope it doesn't rain!"

Flight Into Egypt.

Shepherd points out the north star to 3 wisemen holding maps.

"Eve just went nuclear and split an Adam!"

"No one mentioned anything about bringing a date!"

'What do you expect, Methusela? Of course you're going to have senior moments.'

"I can't believe the platypuses gave us $100 for our spot on the ark."

'Big Issue!'

"Guys, guys! Let's take this from the top. Who ordered the chicken nuggets...?"

Pontius Pilates