Bible Believer Gifts

"Boy, the sooner she realises the only authority I obey is the Bible, the better!"

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, I'm here to share a brief Bible message with you about the good news of God's Kingdom."

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

The First Printed Bible

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

The ten ammendments

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I have an app for that."

Meet the Author

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"Who wants to live in a Garden Centre?"

Sermon on the Grounds...

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

"Sure he's cute, Lord. . . He's just not what I had a mind for a companion!"

Rocket Ark

Zenboni

'Let there be cool.'

'The manna's fine, but now we have a FINANCIAL crisis.'

"God's Gift to Women?"

"Well yes, son. David probably did have the best how-I-spent-my-summer-vacation report."

"Are you sure this what he said to build?"

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

"For the last time Pharaoh, it's a plague, not global warming."

How the Old Testament Got Its Name.