Biblical Believer Gifts

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

"I have an app for that."

The ten ammendments

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Sermon on the Grounds...

Zenboni

"Boy, the sooner she realises the only authority I obey is the Bible, the better!"

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

Two of everything on Noah's ark.

Give Thanks.

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Guardian Angels and Operations

'No, we wouldn't want to ask God's blessing on something evil, but carrots aren't evil.'

Man turns into an angel.

'Hey, come on -- You've got to believe in yourself!'

"Relax - we're blessings in disguise."

'I might also mention, that hiring me would be a fulfillment of prophecy.'

'As your Guardian Angel, I want you to know that death is not anything to worry about.'

"You're definitely descended from the apes. I'm descended from Adam and Eve."

St. Gregory Church - We will not be undersaved.

"Artie, you would not believe what’s going on down there."

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, I'm here to share a brief Bible message with you about the good news of God's Kingdom."

"It's true - we totally have the best religion!"

'What do you mean 'don't expect miracles'? Why shouldn't I expect miracles?'

New Pope.

God Shows His Love In Many Ways...

Jesus Falls Under the Cross (The Holy Bible).

"This is the book of the millennium club - Bible study."

"Don't worry! Remember that God never gives you more than you can handle."

Clancy: Exception to the rule