Bestseller Believer Gifts

"That's the first self-help book I wrote. The second two didn't sell nearly as well."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

The ten ammendments

"I have an app for that."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'Confusionism'

Football Delivery

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"Boy, the sooner she realises the only authority I obey is the Bible, the better!"

Cookery/Bestsellers/Humour/Art.

'I've got the inside track ... But the Devil uses the big freeway.'

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

Ray Charles

'I don't need a rewards program for my customers, as much as I do a blind faith program for them.'

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

English major will work for food.

"I became rich by writing the bestseller 'How To Become Rich'."

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

"The best decisions are made when complexity and simplicity meet."

'The end is near.'

"Where are all your Santa Claus books – fiction or nonfiction?"

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, I'm here to share a brief Bible message with you about the good news of God's Kingdom."

"Keep your chin up."

? ? Please help fund my boy band.

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'